He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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