DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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