I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
