Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
