so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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