So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
