Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
