He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
