Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize