Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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