Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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