it hurts more in the daytime
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
