Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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