Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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