i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize