I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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