who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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