i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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