I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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