is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
