That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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