So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
