if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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