I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
