do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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