oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
