i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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