She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
