physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize