She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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