Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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