New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They have beer where we have blood.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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