there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
