I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
