when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
