Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
