i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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