How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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