Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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