Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
