I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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