Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
