pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
