That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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