thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
