My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
