she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
