we're chasing vodka with high fives
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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