i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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