this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
