Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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