We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
