Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
