Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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