Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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