So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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