We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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