so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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